Why can’t I speak to anyone at my bank?

Tried to contact my bank yesterday to arrange and appointment. This had been going on for over 2 weeks now. After punching in my account number, date of birth, password, mothers maiden name, the full line up of the England 66 World Cup winners team, and the current price of milk at Tesco’s, I was then passed on to a charming woman in deepest Watford who proceeded to ask me the same details again. All I want is to speak to my local bank!

After my brain had gone dead and she said she told me there was no one at the branch who could take my call I hung up furiously. Off I then pop in a red rage to the bank in my car. After waiting for customer service and going through the same 64 questions and explaining how furious I was that I had to get in my car to come to the bank to arrange a meeting, I was then told that the person off today, and she only works Mondays Tuesdays and Wednesdays. “But it is Wednesday today” I said. ‘She’s on a course today” was the reply. ‘OK. is there anyone else who can sort this out?’ I asked. I was told to go the other branch 100 yards along the street and as for Eric who would sort out an appointment there. So..off I go. “Can I see Eric please!” ” I’m sorry Eric works at the other branch till 2.00 then he is here after that” came the reply. ” What, the branch that I’ve just come from!” I scream. Sensing my anger she offered to phone Eric and arrange an appointment. I replied “Don’t bother I’ll just move my business to Barclays.